Previously on "Loring Park" ...
Since 2012, Jakey has been a resident of downtown Minneapolis Minneapolis. Like any sane person, he pretends his life is a saucy nighttime drama. Check local listings! Read the over 50 episodes so far of the best imaginary TV show you're not watching!
FROM THE ARCHIVES
The Two Jakes
Loring Park Adjacent
#69: A Boy's Best Friend is His Mother
Jakey celebrates his mother's 60th birthday at LUSH, and tries to have fun independently when Steve takes two vacations in one month!
#68: After Winter Must Come Spring
After months of turmoil, one of Jakey's longest friendships ends. At least he still has his Oscar party. Special appearances by Alyssa Edwards and Ariana Grande!
Episode #67 has been taken down until further notice
#66: The Holiday Show
After months away of blogging, Jakey celebrates Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and looks forward to a better 2017.
#65: Garbage Person Dumpster Fire
Jakey's erratic behavior continues to threaten everyone's happiness, and not just his own! OH, BROTHER.
#64: No Sex and the City
Jakey and the boys venture to an all-expenses-paid trip (by Joey) to New York City, but his anxiety tends to get in the way. And Joey gets mugged!
#63: The Comedown
After the birthday show, Jakey goes through a depressive/anxious phase. Like, more than usual. Later, Jakey and Steve go to Valleyfair and attend the opening of a new gay bar, and we say good-bye to Tan Man.
#62: In Which I Am Thirty
Jakey has the biggest show of his career as he celebrates his 30th birthday!!!
#61: My Pride and Joy
Jakey celebrates Pride with his new roommate and marches in the Parade! Sponsored by Solarcaine. With special guest stars Boomer Banks and Adore Delano.
#60: May I Leave the Stage Now?
Jakey acts a fool in The Saloon as he adjusts to life with a new roommate. With special guest stars Derrick Barry and Nebraska Thunderfuck.
#59: An Enema and an Eggbake
Jakey reconciles with Jared, fails at musical chairs, and enjoys his weekly gig at The Gay '90s.
#58: Disenchanted April
Jakey moves out of his own apartment in a dispute, attends a viewing party at a penthouse, and mourns the losses of Chyna and Prince.
#57: Hard Wired
Jakey returns to theater, performs in Wisconsin, and gets a new gig at The '90s
#56: The People I Met
Vowing to blog more regularly, Jakey discusses major life changes
#55: Blue is the Grossest Color
With a full week of work booked at The House of Comedy, Jakey has the busiest birthday week ever! And blue nether regions.
#54: The Pride of Stevens Square
Jared and Jakey host Pride parties at their new estate.
#53: So Sioux Me
Jakey has a nervous breakdown, beds a hipster, attends his uncle's wedding, and performs at Sioux Falls Pride! With special guest star Alexis Mateo!
#52: And the Rest is Drag
Jakey and Jared move to their new place in Stevens Square. Jakey makes his local television debut and sees his hero (Bianca del Rio) perform, yet an ensuing sadness lingers.
#51: Roll with the Punches (SERIES FINALE**!!)
A series of mishaps puts Jakey in the dumps, but his comedy career makes a rebound. Later, Jakey and Jared find a new apartment away from Loring Park. Is this the end of the show?
#50: The Milwaukee Show
Jakey travels to Milwaukee with his friend Charlie to meet their favorite former WWE Diva, Terri Runnels! But the return home leads to two disheartening good-byes; one to his longtime bartender and another friendship that abruptly ends.
#49: The Ballad of Auntie Debby
Jakey finds himself surprisingly promiscuous at The Saloon, enjoys a new crush, and somehow loses his phone at The Dakota Jazz Club!
#48: Destiny Unbound
Jakey reflects on dudes, diners, and death.
#47: This is Your Life
All three of Jakey's "fake boyfriends" are finally in the same room on Thanksgiving Eve. So why is he so sad? Later, he attends two birthday parties and an Art Alexakis concert with his brother.
#46: I Left My Liver in Miami
Jakey visits a prospective new university, reunites with former flames, and goes to Miami with his mother, Erin, Joey and Jared. In a surprising twist, they aren't the only people he knows on the plane ...
#45: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
Jakey makes an ass of himself at The Saloon. Like, in a bigger way than usual.
#44: I Know There is a Rainbow
Jakey has a great gig at The Pourhouse, but his anxiety becomes too much to handle.
#43: 28 Daze
Jakey celebrates his birthday and his official end to celibacy.
#42: But The One Thing I Have is My Pride
GAY PRIDE EXTRAVAGANZA! Dennis Jansen once described this episode as 'The Dostoyevsky of gay blogging'.
#41: When it Rains, it Pours
Jakey moves in with Jared and shenanigans already ensue. The best part of this episode got removed because integrity.
#40: Mothers and Daughters
Jakey has comedy adventures including travels with The Turkeys; spars with Joey in a way that makes him understand his mother; writes his first article for LOLOMGBlog.com; and, of course, has trials and tribulations involving the fairer sex (by which we mean men).
#39: Sometimes it Snows in April
Jakey's life always goes to shit in April!
#38: Dallas Haters Club
Things go from bad to worse when Jakey makes a fool out of himself at a sexy neighbor's apartment, is made fun of by Ricky Tabor at The Saloon, and decides to go sober for two weeks (and lasts one).
#37: Broskis Don't Cry
After a fateful trip to San Diego to visit friends and family, Jakey comes home for a disastrous Valentine's Day.
#36: Guys and Dollfaces
Season 3 starts with a BANG.
#35: Comedy is Easy, Living is Hard
This episode has comedy! Sexuality! Happiness! Suicidal thoughts! Letting go! Needless to say, the Season Two finale is Jakey's favorite episode EVER.
Jakey is disappointed when he shows up stag at a Sadie Hawkins party, but enjoys comedy performances and time with a new friend at trendy hotspot Tangiers.
#33: They Shoot 25-Year-Old Gay Men, Don't They? (My Life in 3 Months)
A MEGA-EPISODE recaps Jakey's Fringe Festival show, relationship tribulations, and his best friend's wedding.
#32: Summer 2013 Recap MEGA-EPISODE! (June)
A super sized episode recaps Pride 2013, prepping for his Fringe play, and more! This episode made Jakey's Twitter pal James exclaim "Oh no, he did not!"
#31: Knowing the Score
Feeling threatened when the boy he likes is liked by a DIFFERENT boy, Jakey acts like a complete and utter asshole to an adorable nursing student. Meanwhile, Jakey's Fringe Festival play turns from one-man show to ensemble comedy, and he has less than two months to put it together.
#30: I Like Boys That Wear Abercrombie & Fitch
Jakey and Erin attend BOY BAND MANIA at Honey, on a night that includes a surprising reunion.
#29: Year Two
On the event of his second year in Loring Park, Jakey attempts new beginnings in a complicated friendship, meets an adorable fan, and biffs it in a comedy contest.
#28: Healthy Boundaries
After heartbreak, Jakey tries to achieve HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. And he meets his idols, drag trio DWV!
#27: Tears of a Class Clown
Jakey gets his HEART. FUCKING. BROKEN. Emmy submission.
#26: Luck of the (10%) Irish
Jakey celebrates St. Patrick's Day with old and new friends. But Irish tragedy is on the horizon ...
#25: The Past Will Never Stay There
Jakey cries at The Saloon when there are too many boys he likes in one room! At 27.
#24: The Real Housewives of Loring Park
Jakey enjoys Jared's birthday party and attending the KDWB pajama party, where he gets a psychic reading from Gary Spivey.
#23: Silver Springs, Pretty Girls, and Tarot Cards
Struggling to get over a romantic disappointment, Jakey turns to karaoke and psychic readings.
#22: I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In
Jakey is finally about to tell a boy his true feelings, but it's too late -- said boy likes his friend. Meanwhile, the boys go "gubing" (gay tubing) and Jakey receives a slot and sponsorship in the Minnesota Fringe Festival.
#21: Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot?
Jakey rings in the New Year with shenanigans.
#20B: A Long December
Jakey takes a second job and enjoys a Sunday Funday and embarrasses himself in front of a porn star.
#19: Be Thankful
Jakey gets robbed (boo!), but is still thankful for his family (his mom and grandparents go to LUSH!), friends, and boys.
#18: Bingo, Barack and Boys
Jakey brings a boy he likes to bingo and later to a Sadie Hawkins party. He celebrates Election Day 2012 at LUSH and The Saloon, goes home in a cop car, and gets turned down for a promotion at work for the 800th time. (OK, fourth)
#17: Go Long
GAY HALLOWEEN! Jakey *finally* has a moment with a crush he has long been afraid of, his friend loses his keys, and somehow he ends up running across the street in his underwear. And it gets filmed.
#16: Jaymes Vaughn
Jakey has a romantic encounter with a sexy older gentleman, finds out he has a sexy next-door neighbor, and gets talked to on Twitter by "Amazing Race" contestant Jaymes Vaughn. Guess which one he was most excited about!
#15: We're Not All in the Mood for a Melody
Jakey makes a fool of himself in front of a boy's apartment AND on Twitter! Oh, brother.
#14B: Wake Me Up When September Ends
Jakey is named Funniest Person in the Twin Cities at ACME Comedy Club! So why is he so damn sad?
#14: Nothing Really Matters
#13: September's Coming Soon
Jakey goes night swimming with a boy, cavorts with friends, and is named a semi-finalist in ACME's Funniest Person in the Twin Cities Club. And he's still kind of down on himself.
#12: Jersey Chaser, Drunk Facebooker, Bad Picker-Upper
Jakey enjoys himself when the Gay World Series is in town!
#11: My Summer of Love
Jakey returns to the secret world of warehouse parties where he meets a beautiful stranger. The week is marred by horrible news from a neighbor.
#10: My Hair is Full of Secrets
Life becomes high school when Gay Day at Valleyfair threatens friendships, as do complicated and surprising feelings about a friend.
#9: Are You There, Gay Oprah? It's Me, Jakey
After being harrassed in the bathroom at The Saloon, Jakey drunk Facebooks Gay Oprah in a way reminiscent of Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah Winfrey.
#8: I Love Birthdees
Jakey's birthday includes a GAY SOFTBALL PLAYER CAR WASH and reaching out to someone he misses.
In Which I Have a Nervous Breakdown
Pride Weekend: Cliffs Notes
The first weekend Jakey actually "does" Pride Weekend!
#7: Aggressive Spooning
Jakey performs in St. Paul and tries smoothing things other with a complicated gentleman.
#5: A Departure, A Mugshot, and a Surprise
Jakey laments Joey's return to Wisconsin, shocking news about a bar crush, and reunites with his paramour.
#4: In Which We Meet (and Become) Gay Oprah
Jakey and Jared counsel a devastated heterosexual male, and Jared embarrasses Jakey in front of Gay Oprah.
#3: Proverbial Fat Friend
Jakey confronts insecurity as a result of hanging out with the more conventionally attractive (and much younger) Joey. His crush comes over for the first time, to disastrous results.
#2: Jim Wilson
Jared and Joey attend a foam party at The Gay '90s. Later, Jakey introduces himself to someone who has long intimidated him.
#1: Loring Park: Week One
The episode that started at all!! Making out on the whorebox! Secret warehouse parties! Honking at boys in Dinkytown!